She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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