do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
