me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
