I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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