Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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