the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize