I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
