ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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