I hate all girls vehemently.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my shit smells like andre
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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