Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
