Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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