I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
