Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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