The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
