put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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