well I can't set my house on fire every night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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