True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
