Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
