sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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