just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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