u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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