dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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