Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
