i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
