Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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