Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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