I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
