Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
