garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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