I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
