somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize