ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
