I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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