Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
