so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sext me about skeletons
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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