Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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