I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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