Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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