I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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