my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You can't special order awesome
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
