that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
