What did we do last night that was yellow?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
