yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
