The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
