i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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