Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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