You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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