you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
