i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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