I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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