i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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