I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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