maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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