friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
