Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
