We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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