JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
