3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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