So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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