My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
