woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
