Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
