I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
