but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
