the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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