but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
