I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
