Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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