i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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