I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize