How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
