Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can't watch pbs sober anymore

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(802): View more from Vermont

he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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(575): View more from New Mexico

We need to talk about our relationship.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

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(404): View more from Georgia

it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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(847): View more from Illinois

If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore

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