and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
