Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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