walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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