i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
