Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
