I want to walk on stilts...naked
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
