Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
